This one's for you, Caitlin, because you are my sole reader and you asked so nicely!

Ok... I have a story... And I call bullshit on this whole ice cream event that Baskin Robbins throws every year where they sell scoops of ice cream for 31 cents a scoop...

I get there right... no lines... I'm thinking "Yum, ice cream for dinner.. I'm gonna eat 10 scoops of ice cream at 31 cents per scoop and ruin my dinner." This incidentally was not how the aforementioned event went down..

The 40 year old Indian guy working the register takes my $3.50 and hand me my change. I then approach the 4 crazy black ladies behind the counter who all yell "Whad you wan' honey" So I says to them, "I'd like 10 scoops please." Two of them respond with utter bafflement, one throws up her arms, the last says "You can have 1 scoop."

Now ordinarily I would deal with this kind of tomfoolery and just deal with the minimum wage dumbassery. But today.... Today, I wanted my ice cream.. and these crazy ladies weren't gonna get in my way..

I pressured the lady that spoke up.. "Miss, I think I misspoke, I just paid for 10 scoops of your 31 cent special tonight." She replied in turn, "Chil' boo, you cain't have that mainy ice creams." I told her again that I just paid for them. She proceeded to start talking really slow as if I looked like I couldn't understand her. "R-e-a-d m-y l-i-p-s, J-o-o a-r-e-n-t g-e-t-t-i-n-g t-e-n s-c-o-o-p-s!" I laughed at her, because really, at this point, I've gotten three dollars worth of entertainment watching this woman and her coworkers become insanely confused.

By this time the manager came over and told the crazy cracked out worker to just give me what I paid for. She kept muttering how it was only 1 scoop per person and how "white crackas" were abusing the ice cream.

She started putting them in individual bowls with tiny baby spoons and absolutely refused to put them in one big bowl with one big spoon. I proceeded to order 1 scoop of ten different ice creams that were on opposite ends of the 15 foot long ice cream counter.

She deserved it for being crazy as shit.

The whole time, my friends were just standing there behind me in amazement. I couldn't believe how ridiculous they were being when behind them there was a sign that said... Limit 10 scoops per customer per purchase...

So.. the moral of the story is that if you want ice cream on 31 cent scoop night.. DON'T go to the Macon, Georgia Baskin Robbins. The crack ladies will make your life difficult over a scoop of ice cream.

In short, I feel shafted, and even though I bought ice cream for all my friends for under $4 and got a fun story out of it, people like that should be candidates for adult abortions. Just saying...

Bastage wench..